Self-Sacrifice

At the church we are starting Bingo.  How fraught is bingo?  People hate it and love it and find it a necessary evil.  It’s gambling.  Yes, but it’s limited, and we sell snacks and it’s very nice.  I am a bingo caller.   Bingo calling is a spiritual practice for me.  Is it a method of devotion to the Holy Church?  Yes a bit, but that’s not why it is a spiritual practice for me.  Bingo calling is a spiritual practice because of the concentration envolved.

I am dyslexic and a touch ADD.  For me to see the number, line it up in front of the camera, wait for the timing beep of the Bingo King, call the number,  press the button (the right button matching the number) and place the ball in it’s correct cubby and repeat the process.  It takes every bit of focus I have.

I cannot worry about my day, about church governance, about the state of my kitchen, about the state of the world, nor about the state of my body.  I have to full on focus.  Should I lose concentration, our lovely bingo players will literally yell at me… (They have to yell to be heard over the blower). I am strongly inclined not to be yelled at so I focus focus focus on the bingo calling.  And then I win.

Every time someone calls bingo I win.  That’s how my mind sees it.   When they have called bingo I have achieved another one of the 23 meditations we have scheduled for the evening.  I love it that people win.  (Especially when they donate it back)  So I generously donate my time to be a bingo caller, because it works for me.

Is it gambling?  Not for me.  If I play, which I cannot now as I am poor, I either win, or donate money to the church.  Often I donate money to the church in either case.  I cover my cost and give the rest back.  This is a lousy way to gamble for me.  For others it may be gambling.  We have scheduled the payouts so that it will never be a loss for the church (no matter what)  so it’s not gambling for the church either.

The gamble will be whether or not the people outside the church will come and love the game, whether we make a profit or not so we are worth the amount of effort being put in.  The start up is a lot of effort but after that the game is easier to run.

Yesterday and today I distributed bingo fliers.  Since I’ve put up no picture as yet.  You don’t know.  I am a very large lady.  I am “Super Morbidly Obese”  Isn’t that special.  I’m supposed to die from being this weight.  I’m not so great at standing.  I have neuro-cardiogenic syncope.  Which means to me that my heart nerves are dyslexic and when my heart should beat faster she slows down,  the cure is a pace maker, but I’d have to see the doctor again and I am not willing.

So the concept of me walking around parking lots and putting flyers on people’s cars, it was almost unthinkable.  This is the sacrifice. Our bingo maven wanted the flyers distributed.  People weren’t helping.  He asked me to ask people to help.  I didn’t get any takers so I went out to distribute 500 flyers myself.  I didn’t succeed.   I figure I have 200 left or more.   I did break down my resistance to flyering people’s cars.  It is no big deal.  I flyered the restaurant I ate breakfast at.  Easy, busy place full parking lot, and not too many spaces.  Then I went to the Loews and the Home Depot.  I did that yesterday, today I only managed the restaurant and the Loews.

My DH(Dear Husband) wanted the car and it’s only fair as I have had it for 2 days.  I am not hurt.  My knees are okay.  My back does not hurt.  I am a bit hot.  The only problem I have is not finishing.  So if anyone wants to drive me around.  Please let me know.

I am applying for jobs and soon I will not have time for this except in the evenings.   I hope we are successful.  Wouldn’t it be grand!  So is this Bingo thing a Self-sacrifice?  Lets see; Meditation is not a sacrifice; Exercise is not a sacrifice; Giving of time that I have is not a sacrifice.  I think it’s not a sacrifice.  People are going to think I am a total hero.   Let them go ahead and think that.  I will keep the selfish part to myself.

I can’t wait to apply for the ministry and tell them that Bingo is my spiritual practice.  Will that pass the MFC?  I just don’t know. LOL

Joy

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